A Slightly Humourous Look at Swimming Pool Etiquette and Safety
Posted by Jennifer VanderWier on Fri, Jun 26, 2009 @ 03:34 PM
I wanted to talk a little about swimming pool and spa safety (or just water safety in general). . .
but then realized there are a lot of different categories to that topic and they all scared the heck out of me!
(photo courtesy of theother66 creative commons)
There is entrapment safety, water balance and chemistry safety, swimmers safety, the list goes on and on. . .aaarghh! Those are all really scary and should be taken more seriously than I am prepared to go. So I'm going to concentrate this on a few common sense safety and courtesy tips for the Poolside. ((And I wanted to talk about them with my own twisted sense of humor!))
1. Never run around your pool. I know I have turned into my mother by saying that, but how many times did you trip and fall when you were a kid. Me…. I fell about 8 times with 1 hospital trip.
2. Alcohol and Pools don’t Mix. It’s not just the fact that you get more obnoxious and someone may splash you, but, around a place where you could drown or be responsible for preventing someone from drowning you really don’t want to be blitzed or even buzzed for that matter. Besides no one wants to see your drunken cannon ball!
3. When there are children or non-swimmers around you always want to be within arms length of any newbie’s in case they need help. I know it is cute to see if your baby likes to dunk under water but don’t ever think that the fish DNA we might have repressed in our genetic code will suddenly kick in and our toddler will instantly turn into Aquaboy. Seriously. . .NEVER leave your non-swimmer unattended for any reason!!! The Kids that are good swimmers should be supervised but you can do this from a distance once they reach a good age and are competent swimmers. It is good to have a Buddy system for youth swimmers. And, NO. . .The dog or cat(as if!) does not qualify
4. Don’t leave too much debris around the pool. (Floats, toys, car parts…) Yes you may trip over it-but more importantly Mom sure as heck doesn’t want to pick up your mess. And, remember since she can’t have that cocktail(because of pool safety tip number 2) she is already not a happy camper!
(Photo courtesy of Kanaka - creative commons)
5. Bathing suit apparel. Woooo that’s a tough one. Assuming we are not a clothing optional household, there is one tip that is universal. Guys, unless you are training for an Ironman competition or are the next Michael Phelps it is never ever okay to wear a shinkini around poolside and if you are training for Ironman it's just rude NOT to wear one (ladies need a little eye candy too!). Ladies, wear whatever the heck you want to wear and wear it with pride wrinkles, wripple, and all. For all we put up with, and all the ways society tells us we need to be fixed… rebel… you deserve to show your inner and outer goddess and the rest of the world be dammed. However. . .if the neighbors and your child’s friends stop coming over than you may want to revisit your boldness.
6. No glass around pool. Do I really need to explain See no drunken cannon ball above. Besides your plastic cup can double as a spousal weapon to retaliate for leaving the dishes out last night.
7. Pets and swimming. Again another tough one. I guess this all depends on if your animal wants to swim or if you just think it is so cute to see fluffy swim for his life in terror. Judgment call here. . .There is entertainment value in both. By the way if you are on a farm and your cow or buffalo decides to take a dip-well I say he’s boss. But please send me pictures!!!
8. No Pee in the pool. How many times did we hear that. No the pool won't turn pink around you thus spawning ridicule from everyone around, and if your sanitizer levels are fine it won't unduly contaminate your pool. But let’s face it - the "ewww" factor is so high it is just gross! I mean how people like to drink pee or use pee shampoo. You get the point. . .
(courtesy of crashcandy - creative commons)
9. Diving. Most swimming pools (fiberglass, vinyl, above or in ground) are not designed for a 6’4 guy to jump in head first - Very, very bad paralyzing things can happen. As a rule of thumb… (and here's a little useless piece of information for you. . .“rule of thumb” came from either wood workers using a standard thumb size for a measurement tool instead of ruler or the since discredited rule that a stick had to be smaller than your thumb in order to be permissible to beat your wife. Neither should be done poolside. We do not condone spousal abuse of any kind including water guns.)… I digress. A rule of thumb is to jump in feet first in shallower pools and if you have a pool with a diving board that meets diving standards (these do exist) then always dive with your hands over your head and steer up as soon as you hit the water.
10. If you can’t see in your pool don’t swim in it. Keep your swimming pool chemistry properly balanced and sanitized for the safety of all. See the above section on Pee. You want to be able to see the bottom for obvious reasons.
Please learn more serious tips about preventing drowning, diving accedents, and poolside safety by searching online at http://www.apsp.org, http://www.redcross.org and http://www.cpsc.org
And. . .of course you can always contact Trilogy Pools - The best fiberglass pool manufacturer ever!